10 Life Lessons from "Tuesdays with Morrie"

"The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
-Morrie Schwartz

I've been nursing a slight injury ever since the half so I've cut back some on my workouts, which hasn't left me feeling very inspired to blog lately.  It has, however, given me some extra to do some reading- plus I just renewed my NYC public library card (which left me feeling slightly dumbfounded I've been up here that long--where has the time gone??--and made me remember how awesome the NYC public library is--if you live in NYC and don't have a library card you're messing up).

Anyways, I recently read the book Tuesdays with Morrie.  I'll admit it wasn't the best book I've ever read, but it was a quick read and had several good lessons.  The book is written by a man who discovers his favorite professor has been diagnosed with ALS- amyotrophic lateral sclerosis also known as Lou Gehrig's disease- a motor neuron disease where the body slowly loses all motor function until the individual is paralyzed within their own body.  It is a devastating disease ultimately leading to a slow and painful death.  Tuesdays with Morrie details the life advice Morrie wants to pass on as he reflects on the life he lived knowing he is going to die soon and unable to do many of the things he enjoyed most leading up to his death, like dancing.  

Here are 10 of my favorite quotes and life lessons from Tuesdays with Morrie.  

1. "Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." This theme reoccurs throughout the novel.  Morrie, who worked as a professor after spending years researching mental health, lives a simple life and devotes himself to others.  While he was researching mental health he devoted himself to his patients, and he was able to connect with patients that had previously not been able to connect with anyone.  He continues this as a professor, and many of his previous students loved him so much they visited him often long after they graduated.  It is clear this sense of connection to others is one of the reasons he is able to accept his unfortunate condition so readily.  Despite the fact he is in pain, he is surrounded at all times by people that love him, and this continues to make him happy until his final moments.  According to Morrie, offering something you have--a skill, your time, your love, your compassion--is the way in which you gain the respect of others.  
2. "I believe in being fully present.  That means you should be with the person you're with.  When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us.  I am not thinking about something we said last week.  I am not thinking about what's coming up this Friday.  I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.  I am talking to you.  I am thinking about you.  Be present.  In our current age of technology this one especially stuck with me.  It is rare to have a conversation with someone without them stopping to check their phone or update their Facebook status.  However, our connectedness via technology has taken away from our ability to connect on a more personal level.  The same is true for when you are working on a project or goal.  Be present with your task and devote all your energy to that task while you are working.
           *I am guilty of all these things, and trying to get better.

3. "You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.  Looking back makes you competitive.  And, age is not a competitive issue."  This was Morrie's response when the author asked him about the fear of growing older.  He talked about how he was made up of parts of himself from every age.  So whatever age he was, he still had the best parts of his previous years with him, and therefore every age was his best age.  I loved this response, especially coming from a man in Morrie's current condition.
4. "Learn to detach.  Detachment doesn't mean you doon't let the experience penetrate you.  On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully.  That's how you are able to leave it."  Essentially Morrie is suggesting that you have to let yourself fully experience your emotions so that you are able to detach yourself and move on from them, whether it be the loss of a loved one or the fear and pain one suffers during an illness.  "By allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely.  You know what the pain is.   You know what love is.  You know what grief is.  And only then can you say 'All right.  I have experienced that emotion.  I recognize that emotion.  Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'"  If you need to cry, allow yourself to cry, so you can then move on to either fixing or learning to live with your current situation.  Do not waste your time wallowing in self pity. 
5. "When you're in bed, you're dead."  Essentially this means embrace life every day, which is kind of cliche, but I loved the way Morrie expressed it.  There are several days when the alarm clock goes off and you want to hit the snooze button rather than get up and face the day--whether it be an early workout or prepping for that big meeting--but instead of dreading it, get up, embrace the day, and be happy.
6.  "If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it.  They will look down on you anyhow.  And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it.  They will only envy you.  Status will get you nowhere.  Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."  This is essentially an expansion of the first point, devoting yourself to others and offering what you can.  When you find that thing that you can give to the world, it will not only make you happy, but it is something no one can take away from you.  Trying to establish yourself with status will only isolate you from others, and all things can be taken away.
7. "The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family.  It's become quite clear to me as I've been sick.  If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all.  Love is so supremely important.  As our great poet Auden said, 'love each other or perish.'"  Although Morrie has no shortage of visitors, it is his family that is there consistently.  They are the ones that are there at night when the nurses and visitors go home, and they are the ones that surround him in his final moments.  They are also the ones that have given his life the most meaning.  Morrie calls it his 'spiritual security,' the ability to know that someone will always be watching him. 
8. "There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: if you don't respect the other person you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  Your values must be alike."  Morrie clearly believes love conquers all, and for good reason.  His wife sticks by his side throughout his illness, and in the end she has their children to comfort her when Morrie passes.  It is also clear Morrie was careful in his selection of his wife, and they were able to build a happy home together while establishing their own careers and leave their own individual mark on the world.  
9. "Death ends a life, not a relationship."  Death is a natural part of life that we spend the majority of our life denying or trying to outrun.  What separates humans from other living things is our ability to establish relationships with one another.  "As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away.  All the love you created is still there.  All the memories are still there.  You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."  This again expands on Morrie's point from quote #1, when you devote yourself to others you give your life meaning that even death cannot take away.  While you can't take your worldly possessions with you, these relationships can allow you to live on.  In the same way, when grieving a loved one you can gain some peace by remembering a piece of them lives on inside of you.    
10. "Learn how to die, and you learn how to live." Do not fear death.  Embrace that one day life is going to end so you can fully embrace the wisdom of Morrie and be able to fully appreciate the beauty in the people and nature surrounding you.  

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