-Lance Armstrong, It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life
Recently I posted an article written by a father who lost his daughter to cancer about why he continued to wear his LiveStrong bracelet even after the controversy surrounding Lance Armstrong. LiveStrong means something different to everyone. For some it now represents the lies and dishonesty due to Lance Armstrong's behavior. For this man, and myself, it has a much deeper meaning,
The cause of fighting cancer. The yellow bracelet to me transcends the original concept of support for the LAF and is a show of strength and solidarity to all those who are battling cancer or any adversity for that matter. It is a statement that we all want the same goal, a cure for cancer. I wear it because I have been inspired through a journey by a little girl who became more than my daughter, she became my hero.
In my first post I talked about how Lance Armstrong inspired me by starting the LiveStrong organization. These days it is nearly impossible to live without being touched by cancer in some way or another. While science has made great strides towards finding a cure the effects of cancer are still devastating. Not only does it take lives far too soon, but it leaves a path of wreckage in the lives of those that are touched by the effects of cancer.
"Stay strong." These words are repeated day in and day out to cancer patients. Up until my freshman year of college I saw cancer as a disease of older generations. It was sad, they were in pain, and even still it was not their time. However, for the most part, the people I knew with cancer had lived full and happy lives and that gave me a sense of relief. Then my freshman year, the most beautiful, happy, and lively 4 year old boy, my good friend's son, was diagnosed with brain cancer. "Stay strong," I would tell him often. "He's a fighter," nurses, doctors, and visitors would tell us.
This was a little boy who had yet to do anything but love and be loved, and yet he was dying before our eyes. His tumor was aggressive, and the only thing we could do was try to make him comfortable for his remaining months. I struggled as I watched my friend not only deal with the illness of his son, but also the medical bills as they built up. It was during this time that I saw the true devastation cancer can cause.
Cancer takes away control. The very cause of cancer is uncontrolled cell growth, but it is more than just the science. Everything changes in an instant. Parents are forced to imagine a life without their baby, and children are forced to imagine a life without their parents. Patients, no matter what age, are forced to relinquish control of their lives to their caregivers and doctors. Twenty-somethings, an age where people are usually discovering themselves as individuals and making their plans for the future, are forced to put these plans on hold and move in with parents. Parents are forced to rely on their children to take care of them and make difficult decisions regarding their care, possibly care for their other children as well.
Often when I would repeat the words "stay strong" I wondered who I was actually telling to be strong. Some days I was angry at myself for putting so much pressure on a little boy because I could tell how much he wanted to be strong for us, and that wasn't fair. This was my first exposure into the isolation cancer causes. I'm a far better listener than I am a talker, and I didn't know how to express what I was going through with anyone. It was during this time I got into running. Lance Armstrong's quote above talks about pain not lasting forever. While the physical pain of cancer eventually subsides, I don't think the psychological pains always go away. During those long months running helped me clear my head, but in the months that followed the passing of my friend's son it helped me to stay strong.
When I ran I quite literally felt him with me. Sometimes I imagined the life he would have had if he had the opportunity to grow up. Sometimes I thought about what he would say to me if I could talk to him now. Sometimes I just listened to my music so loud until I couldn't think anymore. Later I came across a story about a cancer survivor in my hometown. While training for the Baltimore marathon he suffered a seizure and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He was in law school at the time and was forced to put his life on hold while he dealt with cancer. Not only did he go on to run the marathon after brain surgery, but he also finished law school. He even ran the Baltimore half marathon while undergoing chemotherapy, and convinced his doctor to run with him. However, eventually the cancer came back and he passed away. After seeing his story I was determined to run a half marathon, and while I trained I constantly thought about those in my life that have been touched by cancer.
For my second half marathon I wanted to raise awareness and money for cancer. Livestrong is an organization that is not only searching for a cure, but searching for a way to make the present situation the best it can possibly be. Livestrong works to eliminate the loss of control and isolation cancer patients and their families go through. Livestrong provides support groups, rides to patients, education, research, financial support...whatever it can to make today better.
So I run for Livestrong. I run for Jamal. I run for my family. I run for children without parents. I run for parents that said goodbye to their children too soon. I run for doctors and nurses working their hardest to serve their patients. I run for the patients that have had to make sacrifices and changes to see a tomorrow. And I run for me.
You are truly the most inspiring person I have ever had the pleasure of calling a friend. I absolutely love your blog as it inspires me EVERYDAY! xoxox
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